The 5 BIGGEST Relationship Regrets People Have
At the End of Their Lives
– And The Simple Steps You Can Take RIGHT NOW to Avoid Them
1) I wish to let myself be happier:
Please realize that the emphasis on this is “to let myself”…
Happiness does not come from “having things”, or from your partner “being the way you want” – nothing could be further from the truth.
It is the systematically achievement of a great magnitude of ever-changing goals that creates happiness.
It’s not even the reaching of those goals, even though reaching ones’ goal would be a good thing. And I assure you that you will miss plenty of goals even though you keep being resourceful and persistent about achieving them.
And that is OK,after all, you should have no scarcity of goals.
In fact after achieving any goals one MUST put in place, new, different and perhaps, but not necessarily higher goals, as a replacement of the one just achieved.
2) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends:
When we talk about staying in touch we do NOT talk about a mass e-mail or text message or “they can see me on Facebook.”
Definitely NOT.
We are talking about a warm heart-to-heart –if possible face-to-face conversation about the subject that matters to that person – well, at this point we could call this person a real friend – couldn’t we?
3) I wish I had the courage to express my feelings:
So, in the name of “I don’t want to hurt others” we hold our feelings inside us, and thus we tend to become more and more dissatisfied with life itself.
This happens unknowingly, of course, which is why I am pointing it out here.
The fact is that most people who hold back (in the name of being “polite and don’t hurt or disrespect to the other” are just plain chicken and are really worried about the “storm” they might experienced after saying one’s mind.
They actually believe –rightly or wrongly – that they cannot handle the situation which will result from a frank conversation.
In short they become phony and it backfires greatly in the long run.
4) I wish I had not worked so hard:
So why is it a “common knowledge” – an absolute truth for most – that ONLY hard work will get you to success?
As with all lies and all misconception there usually is enough truth in the statement so that this false datum can be accepted as correct even though there is plenty of evidence that the opposite might be the case.
First of all, nothing wrong with hard work and yes, it is a needed factor in happiness overall, never mind mere success.
By “not working so hard” those people mean that they should have balanced their life better.
Play, family, fun, having time to be there for someone else at “perhaps” the expense of less earnings or success.
It is in fact a learnable skill to be able to align ALL one’s priorities in life.
It is the statement of a lazy man or woman who says something like this:
“I work myself to death in the office so that you guys ( spouse, kids) have a great life and …….”
This man or woman believes he/she is very responsible –and most likely does have a heart of gold with a very high sense of responsibility – and yes his/her hard work should be acknowledged and appreciated, but it boils all down to number one in this story – not enough effort was devoted to figure out how to spend more time, energy and love with loved ones.
There always is a solution to achieve all – career and family and personal fun – and that’s all there is do it. One simply must be resourceful enough and determined.
One simply must realize that THAT (the finding ways to have one’s life in balance) IS the game or the challenge if you wish.
It is NOT true that there are “ONLY so many hours in a day” and thus only so much can be done.
NO choice over family, friends, fun and work and money has to be made.
Thank god!!
NON-whatsoever. And the nice thing is that learned. Not in schools or colleges though.
5) I wish I had the courage to be truer to myself:
This point sounds very much like point number three – doesn’t it ?
Not expressing your feelings and not being true to oneself are really the same thing.
And even though a person who is not true to himself is also untrue to others by definition; the fact that he betrays himself is the most damaging part.
So, just work on all points above One through Four one by one slowly but surely, with lots of resourcefulness and the “it-can-be-done” attitude, and you will get better and better by the day.
What getting better and better means in real terms is becoming happier and happier, having more and more real friends, being healthier and thus more energetic to keep creating more goals for yourself and actually achieving them.
Or to sum it up, have little regrets when the time to part from this world comes.
Live your life a bit like Frank Sinatra’s song:
“Mistakes I made a few, but then again too few to count, and best of all…I DID IT MY WAY.”
And by the way, if you live that way, people around you will feel safe, appreciated, understood – even though you might disagree with them – and thus they will feel happier to be around you.
Hellen Chen
Note: Interested in finding the love of your life and keeping her/him? See how Hellen Chen can help: How to Find True Love and Start a Successful Marriage?